I was looking up lyrics by Sarah Mclachlan, and I came across the song lyrics of Dear God. ..I can't say I don't understand the tone of the lyrics. I do. I am sad about the pain in the world that makes people believe that it confirms there is no God. I know there is far worse in the world than I even know, but please know that experiencing pain, and seeing it around us, does not confirm there is no God. People will hurt us and let us down; this isn't new information. For me, the hurt in the world confirms there is sadness, and we are not perfect, but it does not confirm that there is no God. I don't know all the good and the bad in the world, but I know that God doesn't want us to think all the bad is because of him.
I don't know everything.. With the hurt in the world, I can understand the questions and the anger. There is cancer. There are babies that suddenly die of SIDS. There are kids with guns that go into schools and cause massacres where students lose their lives for a reason they don't know. There are moments that happen that are beyond what we think we can handle knowing. I can't explain why these things happen, or make it as if everything that happens makes sense to me..... because it doesn't. I don't understand either.
I struggle with staying humble enough to not ask "why me" even when petty stuff happens to me. It comes naturally. When anything bad happens, one of the first things I do is stop and mumble, "why?"... true story. With all the bad that happens in this world, I want to stop and ask, "why?".. But who am I to stop and ask why? As it happens all around me, who am I to think I am less entitled to pain than anyone else in this world who is going through worse pain? It happens around me, and I am not the only person feeling it. Plus, there are people out there feeling it much, much worse than me. With how harsh reality can be, who doesn't stop and ask "why" at least once in his or her life?
But I still believe in God. I honestly don't know how to not believe in God. I do have times of painful doubting, questioning, and frustration that bring me to tears. I have my times of anger about what goes on in the world, and in my life. Again, I have my times when I want to scream, "why?!", but I can't not believe in God. I can get angry. I can scream out loud. I can write about it. I can cry. It is so hard to deal with not being able to understand or accept some things, but I can't not believe in God. In the end, I always believe in God. It is a part of me, and it feels sewn into me.
I am sorry for what happens in the world. I am sorry dad's leave families, car wrecks happen, little kids starve to death, women are raped. I am sorry. I am sorry. "Sorry" seems like such a useless word when it comes to acknowledging the deep hurt the world has. The word doesn't seem enough, but I get it. I used to get angry when people would try to comfort me by saying they understood me. I would think, my fist wants to meet your face. I would feel wronged by people who were just trying to comfort me because I know the happenings in my life are not so common that most of others have experienced them. I would put up that wall, and feel separated because I felt no one knew the pain I was feeling. I got older and realize, we all have had moments like that. I remember the anger-- it is deep and seems to be alive-- and I am sorry life is unfair. I wish I could fix it.
I sometimes stop and ask, "Why?" when I have been continually knocked down or I hear about horrible happenings in the world.
And the truth is I don't know.
I. don't. know.
I may never know why.
I just know there is a God, and I don't know all the answers. I am sorry I can't give an answer that satisfies the hurt in the world. I am sorry for the world's condition, and I am sorry we don't do a better job to love and help one another.
We get mad at God, but what are we doing to help the world and the others here who are suffering? We are actually, tangibly in this world, and we are capable of helping. We are. There are means and ways to help others who are hurting. So, how are we helping to make the world better? Yes, there is bad. I've seen 'bad'-- I have seen bad, but there is good. I have also seen good. All because there is bad, don't forget the good. Don't let the bad take away your faith; don't let it take away your hope; and most of all, don't ever let it take away your heart.
I wish I could heal the world, but I can't. I just know there is a God, and how humanity fails me and its own race is not how I choose to measure the chances of God's real existence. I have him with me, and I feel it..
P.S. I wrote this for me because I needed it.
I don't know everything.. With the hurt in the world, I can understand the questions and the anger. There is cancer. There are babies that suddenly die of SIDS. There are kids with guns that go into schools and cause massacres where students lose their lives for a reason they don't know. There are moments that happen that are beyond what we think we can handle knowing. I can't explain why these things happen, or make it as if everything that happens makes sense to me..... because it doesn't. I don't understand either.
I struggle with staying humble enough to not ask "why me" even when petty stuff happens to me. It comes naturally. When anything bad happens, one of the first things I do is stop and mumble, "why?"... true story. With all the bad that happens in this world, I want to stop and ask, "why?".. But who am I to stop and ask why? As it happens all around me, who am I to think I am less entitled to pain than anyone else in this world who is going through worse pain? It happens around me, and I am not the only person feeling it. Plus, there are people out there feeling it much, much worse than me. With how harsh reality can be, who doesn't stop and ask "why" at least once in his or her life?
But I still believe in God. I honestly don't know how to not believe in God. I do have times of painful doubting, questioning, and frustration that bring me to tears. I have my times of anger about what goes on in the world, and in my life. Again, I have my times when I want to scream, "why?!", but I can't not believe in God. I can get angry. I can scream out loud. I can write about it. I can cry. It is so hard to deal with not being able to understand or accept some things, but I can't not believe in God. In the end, I always believe in God. It is a part of me, and it feels sewn into me.
I am sorry for what happens in the world. I am sorry dad's leave families, car wrecks happen, little kids starve to death, women are raped. I am sorry. I am sorry. "Sorry" seems like such a useless word when it comes to acknowledging the deep hurt the world has. The word doesn't seem enough, but I get it. I used to get angry when people would try to comfort me by saying they understood me. I would think, my fist wants to meet your face. I would feel wronged by people who were just trying to comfort me because I know the happenings in my life are not so common that most of others have experienced them. I would put up that wall, and feel separated because I felt no one knew the pain I was feeling. I got older and realize, we all have had moments like that. I remember the anger-- it is deep and seems to be alive-- and I am sorry life is unfair. I wish I could fix it.
I sometimes stop and ask, "Why?" when I have been continually knocked down or I hear about horrible happenings in the world.
And the truth is I don't know.
I. don't. know.
I may never know why.
I just know there is a God, and I don't know all the answers. I am sorry I can't give an answer that satisfies the hurt in the world. I am sorry for the world's condition, and I am sorry we don't do a better job to love and help one another.
We get mad at God, but what are we doing to help the world and the others here who are suffering? We are actually, tangibly in this world, and we are capable of helping. We are. There are means and ways to help others who are hurting. So, how are we helping to make the world better? Yes, there is bad. I've seen 'bad'-- I have seen bad, but there is good. I have also seen good. All because there is bad, don't forget the good. Don't let the bad take away your faith; don't let it take away your hope; and most of all, don't ever let it take away your heart.
I wish I could heal the world, but I can't. I just know there is a God, and how humanity fails me and its own race is not how I choose to measure the chances of God's real existence. I have him with me, and I feel it..
P.S. I wrote this for me because I needed it.
